mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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