First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
