Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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