North Korea, Best Korea!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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