Soap is not a condiment
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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