Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
