glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Green mimosas i think yes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize