Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
