you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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