too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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