I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
