You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Terrible idea I love it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
