You really coming over, don't trick.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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