theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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