it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When are your genitals available?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
