Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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