You just made me feel so damn special
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
