this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
