Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
