SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
