In the future we'll all be gay
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm bleeding and have questions
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
