you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
