I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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