: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
