We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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