I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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