I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
