you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
