god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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