I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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