names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize