Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't deserve a penis
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
