Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
