Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
