We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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