$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
