Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
