Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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