If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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