at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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