So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
