i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
