He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
