I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
