Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
