I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize