she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
