You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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