You're so nebulous sometimes
are you so shy because you have an std?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
