apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
