I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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