and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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