Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
