seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
