in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
