my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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