I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize