saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
