I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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