That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
