Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
