you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize