Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize