a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
