respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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