Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
