I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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