She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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