Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
