Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
