somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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