i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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