Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
