you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How naked do you want me to be?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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