who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
please don't ironically join a cult
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