saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
