it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
