John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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